Monday, April 23, 2007


Are you ok? You've been gone for almost two weeks!
Not that much has been going on, other than Don Imus and Virginia Tech. Two separate incidents, and even I'm not obnoxious enough to tie them to each other. I'm going to leave the Virginia Tech massacre as a terrible tragedy. Some other time I might get into identifying crazy people and sequestering them to protective custody.

Today, we are going to talk about racism. Yes, I said it.

I start by saying yes, absolutely, there are lots of racist people in this world. Don Imus may in fact be one of these. However, we need to talk about another racist: Reverend Al Sharpton. He has been poisoning your TV and your mind for years. People like Al Sharpton make racism worse.

Think about it: If the owner of a store that shop at comes out and start annoying the shit out of you, you are less likely to shop there right? You might even utter something like "That place sucks, their owner is a dumbass".
Let's morph it to sports. Let's say you meet Derek Jeter in person, and he's a prick to you. Maybe he is hanging out with other teammates. Even though he was the only one mean to you, it's reasonable for you to say "The Yankees suck. They are a bunch of arrogant bastards."
If you are familiar with my insane thought process, you know where I'm going with this. Al Sharpton makes the black community (I hate the term African-American, how many of them still have any ties to Africa? Or even care? Am I a British-German-Irish-American? NO!) look BAD. He is a fat, obnoxious person who seems to think he speaks for all black people. I am quite sure that he doesn't. He is making assumptions and claims that he feels are best for "his people" when in fact he is doing more harm than good. Surprisingly, Jesse Jackson has kept relatively quiet on this issue. Maybe he is smart enough to know when to keep quiet, or he just sees what a jackass Big Al is making of himself.

Now let's move to the "harmful language" in question. Don Imus referred to the Rutgers women's basketball team as "nappy-headed hos". The funniest part about this debate is that according to Sharpton, being called a "ho" isn't nearly as bad as being called "nappy-headed", because the latter is (to him) a racial slur. He of course cannot attack calling a woman a "ho", because he would be attacking THE ENTIRE HIP-HOP INDUSTRY, which employs a big old pile of black dudes. Hm, so now ho is OK, but nappy-headed isn't. Interesting logic.

I think what I'm getting at here is that Al Sharpton is taking the Fox News approach to racism. Instead of suggesting a solution, he decides to SENSATIONALIZE the situation, all while claiming a "fair and balanced"-style approach.

As for Mr. Imus, I call him a pussy. If he thought about it, he would know he's getting fired either way. So why lower yourself to apologize? Stick to your guns of free speech and being opinionated and run with it. If nothing else, you'll be guaranteed a show on satellite radio. Instead, he apologized and fed Al Sharpton's fire. By backing down, he has made other radio shows both scared and completely under the microscope.

Ugh, I'm so sick of this crap. Here's the deal: There are still plenty of racist people in the world. If they are ignored, they will go away like the bullies that they are. Any time anyone drops the "N word" around me, I tend to ignore it and ignore them when possible. Just like when you were in elementary school, if you ignore them they will go away. Then we just wait for the racist generation (baby-boomers and their elders) to die off and we'll be OK.

However, if the "gangsta" mentality that all white people are bad continues, we will be right back where we started. Can't we all just get along?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

The Bigger Deficit

A lot has been made about the spending of the Bush Administration. I agree, it sucks, he sucks, and we'll be paying for his mistakes for decades to come. However, he's the president and there's not much we can do about his spending. We have to wait till 2008 and get someone in office who cares more about our economy than blowing shit up across the globe.

Here's a deficit we can do something about: the trade deficit. We are grossly out of proportion when it comes to the number and dollar amount on what we import versus what we export. What can you do about it? Buy American. I know it's not always easy, but every little bit helps. There are even web sites that can help you, like the aptly titled .

So here's the deal. If you bitch one more time about how much our economy sucks and I see you driving a fucking HONDA, I am going to smack you. The three biggest ticket items that I see making a difference: Electronics, cars, and other motored devices. I separate cars from motored devices for a reason. Cars are a very emotional purchase. Please become emotional about an American car company. Find someone you know who works for one, be their friend, and then try to buy a foreign car. They won't like you, and I don't blame them(Yes, MCO and others, the American auto industry and its unions have hurt themselves plenty, but we can still do our part).
So on to other motored devices: You don't think as much about nationality when it comes to lawn mowers, weed whackers, or even motor cycles. These are still very important pieces of the retail world and need to be taken seriously. Plus, you look like an idiot on your Japanese crotch rocket anyway, buy yourself a Harley, it even comes with a free bottle of testosterone.
Electronics is a harder one. There are thousands of components manufacturers and it's hard to figure out who makes what, but some of the choices are obvious. I live in Rochester, NY, so the Kodak vs. Canon or Sony debate is a simple one for me, though even some young Kodak employees don't obey this one (yes Kodak is another example of making their own problems, but once again we can help a little at least).

Bottom line: look at your labels and try to do some research. Sure Honda makes dependable (boring), fuel-efficient (slow) cars, but they are part of the reason the American economy is as slow as it is today. And for people like Dr. Harry Binswanger over at the Ayn Rand Institute (I'm not making that name up: ) you have a point, but if we set aside our love for capitalism (which is hard for me to do) for a moment and help our American companies compete, we will all be better off.

Go ahead, flame away Honda lovers and Union haters, I know it's coming...

Friday, April 6, 2007

LSP III - Drivers

Yup, it's time to let you know how badly you drive. It seems that lately I don't get through a day without yelling at someone on the road. It's not road rage, it's utter frustration with other people not understanding some basic concepts:

The directional signal was installed for a reason, SO PLEASE USE IT. This is supposedly everyone's pet peeve, but people still make lane chages and turns with no signal at all? Sure, I forget every once in a while, but that's usually only at intersections when I'm in a turn only lane so I don't really have a choice.

Directional signal leads into another one: Using your directional signal does not require me to let you in. Scenario: you're in the left lane, your exit is approaching, traffic is bumper to bumper, and you need to get over. Sure, I will do my best to accommodate you, but if you just cut me off a few miles back, I am not letting you in. Plan ahead next time. This also applies for the "oops my lane is ending, I need yours". If you didn't know the lane was ending, that's your fault, not mine. Stay there until it's safe to merge.

Ooh, merging, another great topic! Although I have stated that I am not obligated to allow you to change lanes at will, I am bound by common sense to move over a lane when I am approaching a busy on-ramp. Don't know if the on-ramp is going to be busy? Move over just in case.

More about lanes-know your lanes and what they mean. There is a law on the books in most (if not all) states that says very simply "KEEP RIGHT EXCEPT TO PASS". Let's make a simple connection in your head: You have the RIGHT to be in the RIGHT lane at all times. The LEFT lane if for LEADFOOTS. There, easy enough? While you're at it, make sure you are at least APPROACHING the speed limit when you drive. I am sick of traveling 40 mph in a 55. Every time I catch some fat sweaty moron or preoccupied soccer mom in the left lane or tooling alone on a two-lane road well underspeed, I want to shoot out a tire or two. I have been know to pass them aggressively and cut in front of them to get my point across. Unfortunately, these people are many times too oblivious to get it.

Speaking of soccer moms (and dads), here's another problem. There are too many people buying minivans today. They are big and bloated, usually underpowered, and not all that safe for their passengers. Sure they may have "five star crash test ratings", but that's when they are on a track in a testing facility, not with a soccer parent behind the wheel. How many people do you know who have gone directly from their cute little Volkswagen Cabriolet to a minivan with no thought at all? Hm, you think they might handle a little differently? I propose further division of the driver's license. Sure we have commercial classes, but we should have passenger classes as well. Classes A through E are already used, and we'll keep D for the larger passenger vehicles. The new Class F will be for Fucking retarded people who will be allowed to drive a car that is no more than 4 cylinders and 150 hp, holds no more than 4 people, and weighs no more than 3000 pounds. If you want to maintain the current class D license, you must take a road test on something that fits the larger criteria. Sorry Tiffany/Britney/othergenericditzyname, you, your kid, and your babydaddy all need to fit in the Neon, and no SRT package for you.

So mentioning road tests brings up another point: We allow our citizens to drive a car their entire lifetime with only ONE driver's test. This is ridiculous. I propose driver's tests every 10 years at the most, preferably every 5. This will allow us to weed out some of the morons and many of the old people who should barely be operating a walker, let alone a 2 ton+ Lincoln Town Crap. The AARP will have a fit, but we really need to stop listening to them. They are painfully old and annoying. More on that over at

So ladies and gentlemen, the next time you get on the road, please think of me. I represent competent drivers who feel that the world would be a better place if more people paid attention to their driving skills. Learn the roads, know your vehicle and its limits. There are so many other things I could get into ("Just because you have an SUV, it's doesn't make you invulnerable", "Keep backing up, you have 20 feet before you hit anything and your 10-point turn is KILLING me") but for now this will do. In summary: LEARN HOW TO FUCKING DRIVE!

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

LSP Volume II

Next topic to tackle: Grammar. I am told that English is one of the hardest languages for foreigners to learn because of the amount of irregular verbs and colloquialisms that have made it into mainstream language. That aside, if you were born here, you should know the language.

As far as I am concerned, you should head back to Elementary School (also sometimes called "Grammar School" for a reason) if you have trouble with the following things:

There, Their and They're. These are three COMPLETELY different words, and should be treated as such.

Your and You're. Not as confusing as the last one, but still should be taken seriously.

My personal favorite: Comming. Not every word requires you to double the the last letter when adding "ing"
See also: I before E except after C. Catchy phrase, and gets you out of trouble in situations like receive. I know you love the ieve words, but not this time pal!
Lastly, I will touch on the or friend '. When you are playing Go Fish and want to ask someone if they have any of the number 7, you don't need an apostrophe. It's not "7's", it's "7s". You are not selling me "Hyundai's", you are selling me crap...I mean Hyundais. Another complication, OMG, what if it ends in S already??? My last name is Jeffers, if there are two of us, we are Jefferses, NOT Jeffers's. However, if something belongs to us, how do you spell that???

OK, I am off on a tangent. My point remains that grammar is good for you. If you use poor grammar, I have every right to deny you a job, stop being your friend, and/or openly ridicule you in public. Parents, teach your fat, lazy, Ritalin-laced children some grammar, or their may be a day were are kids d'ohnt no whut there even saying.